Wednesday, March 24, 20101:51 PM
A twang of heartache each time a story ends,
Stories that entangle ur feelings,
twisting, turning, interlocking
Yet every end should represent a new beginning,
shouldn't it?
Tuesday, March 23, 20101:37 AM
Maybe cos I tried too hard to make it into a fairytale ending
Yet what are fairytales but just a mere delusion of the mind?
Friday, March 19, 20104:57 PM
Awww, look at what Mr Yong wrote on his facebook.
When I looked back at 2007, I can safely say that it was the best year since 2004. Having 4-5 (my last form class in probably many years to come) as my form class was one reason. It actually started the Friday before school re-opens. We had a staff meeting and we received the timetable. I was very excited because it was an unexpected surprise. The combination of classes I am taking was refreshing. Lets start with my form class. I was expecting myself to follow up 3-7 so that was a surprise. I am not sure about other teachers. But I personally have a mental wishlist of classes I hope to take as form class. It’s usually around 2 or 3 classes in the upper sec bloc. 2007’s 4-5 was in my wishlist. It came true for once. I had favourable impressions of 2006’s 3-5 class for four reasons. First was my brief experience teaching them for history elective in 2006. I found them very high energy. Second reason was I remember seeing one student from the class helping 2006’s 2-2 wash dishes after Annovation Carnival. I thought that was very good gesture. Third reason was the strong class spirit they showed during 2006’s Sports Carnival. Last reason was the good concentration of SJAB, volleyball, former 1-1, 1-4 and 1-5 students. What makes it more exciting was I was entirely unprepared. I actually photocopied their namelist on that Friday and tried to remember some names. I too thought about what to say on the first day. I also did research that Friday afternoon after staff meeting, reading through meet-the parents report and feedback from teachers. I noticed that their academic results were very weak. I knew they would be under a lot of pressure in 2007. Thus similar to 2005’s 4-3, I set my goal from day 1 to make each one of them special, create the best study environment in the classroom, encourage the class to work together. Most important, focus on improving their grades. I must admit that I was so excited with the first day of school that I had problems sleeping the night before school re-opens. On the first morning, I went into 4-5 to welcome them before school starts. I also prepared a speech but somehow the words did not come out smoothly. Despite trying to memorize the names before day 1, I had problems remembering their names for at least a week. One reason was because some either did not nametags or wore other people’s nametags. Another more important reason was because they used very dated photos in the mug shot list. The face did not match the photo, especially three students. One of them had a plump, serious look with hair all combed down photo. In reality, he looked thinner and had spiked hair instead. The other two girls who sat in front looked almost the same both in photo and reality. But hardwork paid off, I managed to know each of their names by the end of Week 2. To make each student feel special and reduce stress level, I made it a point to remember all 43 birthdays and that was no small feat. I recorded each of their birthdays in two organizers, in case I forget anyone of them. I made sure the class was conducive for learning by nagging them about keeping the tables and floor neat and clean. I had two very good notice board reps that did a wonderful making the board refreshing. I kept reminding them to study, as I was worried about their results. I prepared for them Chinese New Year/ Youth Day gifts and writing long remarks in their report book. What made me like 4-5 so much was the fact that they were very appreciative and had good manners. They were also a really fun and wild class to hang around. I looked forward to all their history and social studies lessons. The history class was always cozy in Inspire Town. Due to outspoken nature, I was also successful in trying out different activities like talk show during SS lesson. My favourite lesson with them was CME, something I looked forward every fortnight. I always allocated time to walk around and interact with the weaker students. We also did all kinds of crazy things in class. It’s so crazy that I cannot elaborate. It’s between the class and myself. There was a good mix of different kinds of students, the quiet ones, hardworking ones, vocal ones, playful ones and very childish ones. They all blended very well and made the class really special. The gals are in general more mature. The guys more childish, a bit like me. I had a very capable class committee who can be trusted to carry out tasks. I never had to worry about uncollected forms or unsettled money. Still, my main worry was always their studies. We went through many ups and downs in this area. But they still managed to clinch the top double science honour at Prelims and that was a proud moment for me. 4-5 practically revived my career and made 2007 a very memorable year. That was the reason why I went so often beyond my energy level and responsibilities as a teacher to help them. I really wanted them to succeed and I hope they will do well for O’levels. They will be remembered in the same league as 2005’s 4-3. My favourite moments with them had to be the cross country where we were the top upper secondary class. I also won first in the teacher's category for the first time. The other was the March Games were I joined them in hockey under the scorching sun. The third was probably the chalet in December. I felt blessed to have that chance to be their form teacher. There is a high chance they are the last form class I will have for a long time. That makes the experience even more memorable.
I should start with the last chapter of my form teacher-ship with 2007’s 4/5, arguably my last form class. That last chapter was the O’level results in February. I am very proud of my last form class, as it managed to emerge as the top double science class again. That was a hard fought achievement because on paper, based on PSLE average, 4-5 was supposed to weakest express class in the cohort. But it managed to perform far better than the other double science classes. All of them did better than their Prelim results. Knowing how hard the class worked and how hard I worked to get the class to perform, it was a very good closing chapter to my short career as a form teacher. I enjoyed the hangover effect as well. Everytime when the principal started comparing the CA and SA results of the 2008 and 2007 cohort, there was this sense of achievement sitting at the back admiring the results. After all, 2007 4/5 was the top double science class for SA1, Prelims and O’levels.
How come I never knew that 4-5's PSLE results were the worse? Hahahaha. Actually I'm quite grateful that Mr Yong was our teacher after all. In a way, he was like how Mdm Chan was to us.
Quite funny how all my classes (lower sec, upper sec and even jc) always seemed to be at the bottom of the academic ladder in my level for almost the entire period before doing much much better in the final exams. And also infamously notorious for being the naughtiest class.
Thursday, March 18, 201012:20 AM
Not going to do anymore piercings.
Well, maybe one navel piercing before that
And maybe a secret tattoo hidden somewhere.
Sunday, March 14, 20101:36 AM
Yes, my room. Yes i drew and painted the mural. All by myself. Not the picture frame. Obviously. Duh.
Wednesday, March 10, 20102:47 PM
Today is Grandfather's 1st death anniversary.
It's been long since i've attended such prayers.
Monday, March 08, 201011:04 PM
Do you know how scary Green can get?
I'm sorry, I'm such a coward
I ran away.
Sunday, March 07, 201012:09 AM
Just dont understand myself at times.
What exactly do I want?
How exactly do I feel?
Why exactly did I do that?
Even I get confused by myself.
Ya,ya we're friends whatever
But still awkward right?
So here's what I think:
that God shouldnt create negative feelings
hurt, sorrow, anger, shamefulness, pain, greed, jealousy, suffering, humilation
The world would be in a better place without them.
Dont care whether you read this or not.
Just wanna retreat into my little rainbow world of my own.
Thursday, March 04, 20109:43 PM
Wednesday, March 03, 20104:13 AM
Read this off M's blog:
Posted by Le Love.
"So this one goes out to all of the people how have been broken but have been strong enough to let go. For the people who have hurt so badly that they felt they could never love again, but kept their head up. For those who feel like going back to their old lover would put all the pieces back where they belong and everything would fit, but accept the cold hard truth instead. For the people that learn from their mistakes and never stop moving forward, even when they take two steps back. For the people that wish loneliness wasn't a part of them, but put up with it anyhow. For the people that are okay with taking up all of the room in the bed, even if sometimes it feels a little empty. For the people who wake up in the morning with no missed calls, but smile anyway. For the people that periodically miss the past, but are so much more excited for the future. For the people that have wounds still healing. For the people that have so much tied to their past relationship, but break those chains to start fresh. For the people that want to look back so badly, but focus on the road ahead. For the people that pick up the phone so tempted to call, but keep their dignity in tact instead. For the people that never wanted to let go, but had to. For the people that still believe in love even after all of the hurt their heart has endured.
For all the people that gave up not because they were weak, but because most times it's better just to let go."
